Jennasis Speaks: The Transformative Power of Women's Stories

Finding Our Third Act in the Stars: Living Authentically with Rhetta Rowland

Jennifer Malcolm

Rhetta Rowland’s first act was becoming sober after a serious, sudden illness. Her second act was realizing she wanted more for her life than surviving successive layoffs in her career as a marketing executive.

She found her third act in the stars.

That third act got its start with a chance meeting with an astrologer. What she learned about herself and astrology sparked her interest.

When her corporate job was eliminated in 2014, Rhetta leaped into her third act. She now combines her deep knowledge of astrology and coaching skills to help others find their own third act.

Jennifer Malcolm:

Calling all women who are curious and called to be women warriors are rising in this day and age to heal and grow together. I'm your host, Jennifer Malcolm, self made entrepreneur, women advocate and life balance expert. Welcome again to our third season of the Jennasis Speaks podcast The Transformative Power of Women's Stories where every woman has a story and every story matters. And I'm so excited as we've been preparing all spring and summer and getting these stories out here. That today, my friend, Paula Williams introduced me to read a rolling, and she's here with me today. So welcome Retta Thank you. It's great to be here. I've never met read up until about 10 minutes ago, and love her energy lovers smile and can't wait to capture your story today. Alright, so I have a little bio about you. And then we're just going to jump right in. Alright, so read a roll and is the founder of Retta rolling coaching. She helps professionals and entrepreneurs to enjoy life more by finding work they love certified and evolutionary astrology ready uses the ancient wisdom of the stars to help people uncover their authentic selves and craft personal career plans. She combines astrology with her business background in branding, marketing and project planning. Welcome Retta. Thank you, thank you, this topic is so intriguing to me. And there's also another layer of this third act. And so there's like a lot of cool little points that I absolutely am eager to hear. So let's just jump in. And what I'd learned from from our pre interview was that you were raised in South Carolina, and the southern farm girl ended up making a marketing career to San Francisco. So How the hell did that happen?

Unknown:

Well, well, it took it took a while to get, you know, to get all the way out here. But um, but even as a child, my dream was to be to be on the cover of Fortune magazine. And yeah, we didn't even get Fortune magazine at my house. So I don't know where that came from. So I'm I'm from a long line of teachers and farmers and a couple smokers jumpers. But, um, but basically, I thought I want to be in business and I need to get to the city, you know, this farm life is not for me. And so it's a first place I went was to Charleston, South Carolina. I went to school there and it's so beautiful. And I've loved it. And then I then I learned from other people that that was not a big city. I'm like, Oh, are you sure? Your looks like a big city to me. And then so from that I moved to Atlanta, and then I moved to New Orleans. And then in New Orleans, I got my MBA there. And, and this my first job after that was with this wine importing company. And so I spent most of my time I was traveling to Europe meeting with winemakers and wine companies, and we bring wines back and and then the company was like, we need to get into California Wine. So we need to go to California. And I'm like, Yes, we do. And I will go. And so, um, so we go out to California and set up shop. And, um, but prior to that I did leave out one thing when I finished my MBA to celebrate or commemorate that I am I took a trip to San Francisco. And I fell in love with San Francisco. And so then that became my dream city the vision of like, oh, wow, if only I could live in San Francisco, but I got this job and all the stuff in New Orleans. And so then, you know, is you know, like a year or two later things are unfolding. We're growing the business and it's we got to be in California. And, and so like, couldn't you anyway, that's how it had to go. Me. And um, so that's how I got out here and then from there, then several other jobs in marketing. That's awesome.

Jennifer Malcolm:

So how did you transition from marketing then to a coach and then this other layer of astrology because I know that that is a combination work of what how you work with your clients. So how did that jump from? Hey, cuz you know, I own a marketing firm. So I know marketing all day every day and we rock and roll on that. But that didn't transition that to coaching and then transition that layer of astrology in there. How does that go? So it took a was about

Unknown:

goodness, time, maybe 10 years later, you know, 10 years of these jobs. 15 years of working in marketing. And I was working at this huge company, enormous education technology company. The Innovation Group. So the so that was moving smaller unit within the big business, but it's moving at just this lightspeed rate. And, um, and I started to get kind of burnt out, or we were having challenges, the team was amazing, these really talented people, but things weren't getting launched, we're having trouble. And now looking back, I know it was a disconnect from leadership to what we were doing. But the point was, they started having us take all these personality tests, and team tests, they were trying to create culture by testing us, and then taking us out to bars. And I was like, Well, okay, I'm so confused right now. But, okay. And we know culture is important, but we don't know how to get it was basically what the feeling was. So in taking all these, these personality tests, the disc assessment, Myers Briggs Strength Finders, I became really aware of personal development. And then just by luck or synchronicity, at a Thanksgiving potluck dinner, I was seated next to this young Ian analyst, archetypal astrologer who, this time I'm probably my early 40s. And she's probably about 70. And she, she was a southerner, also, originally from the Carolinas and Virginia and transplant California, and I'm like, Who is this woman? And, um, you know, my first judgment was she's a nut. Because it, how can you be an astrologer? Like, it just didn't make sense, you know, and I didn't know what it was, I only knew about what I knew of astrology was what I used to see in the back of, like, Cosmopolitan magazine growing up, you know. And it was the first thing I would read. I got to read my horoscope, whether it was totally back when we had print things. And so and so I'm seated with her and I'm asking questions, and she's just so wise. And, and, and she's just speaking to me in such a soulful way. And it really resonated. And then I followed her around the rest of the night, bless her heart, she couldn't, she could not get a break from me. And, and then, and then I'm like, I'm getting there. I wanted to get a reading. And then I brought her in to meet the leadership team or our senior management team. Not that super Sure. Yeah, no, not the C suite. But you know, like the, you know, I brought her in if she did assessments with all of us. And it just was something that it just spoke to me in a different way. In. I felt like, it told me things about myself that I hadn't dared say, allowed. That sense, it was very validating. It also did the shift of, of helping me see all that it happened in life up till then, was was like, part of my lessons is part of being on earth school. Sure. And I mean, I've been doing other spiritual work prior to this, but there was something about this reading that just made it snap into my brain a little differently, or no a body. And so then I was I was hooked. So then I'm studying it. You know, find a teacher, and that type of thing. And so then it was in my chart, that it was a huge career transformation was coming. And I'm like, well, well, I don't know what it's this all the stuff about being a pioneer courageously going well, there's one I'm like, Well, I just, I mean, I'm a middle manager. I'm a, you know, a marketing project manager that requires a project that requires people that requires some, like, I'm in this credit structure. Yeah. So I'm like, I can't be an entrepreneur I wanted to I so wanted to, um, and then, as it does, sometimes the universe helped me out and I got laid off. And so it's, it did for me what I couldn't do for myself, basically. And then, so it was out of that, that I I spent a year fully dedicated to studying astrology and and then started consulting. And in my consulting practice, who was people that I started Noticing who was coming to me and what the challenges were. And the first person I worked with was, she had been my former manager back at that huge company. And she's like, we need to start a business. And I'm like, Yeah, sure. And so I'm in it with her, and we're starting this business. And then we get it going, we get it launched. And I have this realization, like, this isn't my dream. This is her dream. Right? And I love getting her dream off the ground. I love partnering with her, I love helping her stay, get clear and stay clear. Stay with who was with her heart. Because you it gets hard when you're doing it by yourself. You know, you know, it's, you know, when you're in that corporate thing, and I'm like, they're telling me what to do. And you and then you're out on your own. You're like, nobody's telling me what to do. What do I do? right? Exactly. So. So that's where I found I felt like I found the sweet spot of partnering with, with strong wise women in launching their dreams. So cool.

Jennifer Malcolm:

Which is amazing. Because I you know, I've owned my business for 10 years, we relaunched and restructured Jennasis Speaks numerous times since 2012, or 13. And when this came to the forefront during COVID, last year, was the Jennasis Speaks was going to be a platform for women and to come together and in collective vulnerability, we grow and heal and, and it's not about judging where people are. And it's not about one race, or one religion, or one sexual orientation is just the collective beauty of who women are. And to start just breaking down those facades. And so as being an entrepreneur, I have my business groups that I'm in my passion project is this. And so it's interesting, because I feel like there's a bridge then also between my like, what you do with my passion and my business, and bring it to the forefront? So it's really, really intriguing to me. Oh, wow,

Unknown:

I really love how you've, you found it all. And like you're activating like, that takes that takes us like fire and courage. And I commend you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank

Jennifer Malcolm:

you. So what was the response of people around you, because I think a lot of people have an assumption that astrology is woowoo or, you know, you see it in the movies where they go into the dark tent, and you have, you know, a horoscope or a palm reading or, and, and there's so many I would say stigmas about that type of work. So what as you were starting to study, and you were following around a 70 year old woman and, and being an eager sponge in this realm, like what were people around you? How are they responding?

Unknown:

Oh, wow, people that I did not think would receive it? Well, I did not tell. I was totally closet. I am like, you know, I'm you know, I'm, I'm Southern and somewhat conservative and how I dress and speak and, and very much want to keep the peace and so that Southern it's also my strong eye. So I'm going to tell you is Southern, I'm not going to tell you, it's my in my chart because I don't know, I don't know what's going to relate what you're gonna relate to. So it has been very much a, I kept it quiet, except in circles of people. I thought we'd get it. I even started coaching and working with people and keeping it kind of silent initially, if that makes sense. And then I also had like, my business was really separate, like, okay, here, I'm consulting and got the MBA, I'm doing some marketing over here, over here, the different clients, let's talk about your soul. Let's talk about while you're here, what what really lights you up. And if you can't remember, here's some tips. Here's some I can help nudge that remind you and I'm and then I finally just gradually decided you don't have to just come fully out. This is what I do. And it's not for everybody. That's okay.

Jennifer Malcolm:

That is okay. Absolutely. Okay. And that's the beauty of it is, you know, there there's people in my circle that do energy work. There's people in my circle, who do I Alaska or they do plant medicine or they they explore in different ways and I have people in my circles that you know are devout Catholic or Jewish or Protestant and We're all on this evolution. And I think that piece of human kindness, human curiosity, that activation which sounds like that you're a catalyst to activate the soul and the dreams and to, you know, we get into our stagnant day to day lives. And sometimes we forget to look up and remember what we're called to or what we what we're passionate about, because we just get into the mundane. And I think the gift what it sounds like you have is really go in and insert that activation and that remembrance of beauty and strength and courage and curiosity and pioneering and all those things. Which is phenomenal. Yes,

Unknown:

yes. And sometimes we get, and this is where I think, you know, astrology, it use it as a tool to help you remember, it's just as you said, we get so caught up in this the day to day, the buisiness. In the attendant, most of my clients are women. So they've got careers, they're also running household children, they are partners, they've got dogs. It's just their lives are so complicated, that, you know, they need a place a time to just pause and check back in, then, okay, all right, get back to it.

Jennifer Malcolm:

So, how do you find are your clients just organically coming to you? Is it curiosity? Or are they coming in? Like, I'm coming in for coaching? And then they get the astrology as well? Or I'm more curious about the spiritual or the activation or my soul? And then it or I think, how does that pendulum swing with you know,

Unknown:

it's been it's been a just a mixed bag, it and I think it depends on you know, where I meet the person I've been in, like a business conference. And so they're going to come, they see me as a coach, first we're talking about coaching, then I explain how, what I do bring in the schools work, there are some people who hear of me as an astrologer come in, just for the reading. And that may be it. They may come in for the reading and something really resonate about Yeah, I've wanted to do this thing much this business change careers, but I haven't I don't know how, yeah. And then we're like, Alright, what, let's see if I can help you with that. Um, so it's, it's just, yeah, it's false. That Trump no beautiful.

Jennifer Malcolm:

So what would a typical, hey, you're gonna do a reading? Like, how does that work? Because I know that there's stuff with stars. There's stuff with intuition and how being a feeler, but how does that signs and you've learned it's also a practice. So you were studying it? You I think you got a certification in it. You had a teacher in it. So there is that piece of learning? How does that work?

Unknown:

Yes. So um, so astrology is, it's really the language, and you learn what the symbols me. And the symbols are. If I'm working with a client, I get that person's birth, date, time, location, and through the beauty of computers. generate this snapshot of the sky at the moment you were born, the moment you take your first breath. So that's when the soul is like, Ah, okay, I'm here. It's so where all the planets are all the planets that we grew up studying in science that we know of right now. They are each in a sign. So what you may most people are probably familiar with is just their sun sign like Hi, I'm Aquarius love Sagittarius. That's where your sun was when you were born. And although that tells a lot, that's really telling you like, I know I percentages, I'll just make something up like maybe 15% of the story. Wow. I mean, the sun is is dominant. You know, we know how we feel. When the sun is bright in the sky, you know, it lights us up. And then how you feel after you've had three days of consistent rain, you're like, Oh, God, I don't know if I can go on. And then the sun comes back out. So it's really significant to us and how we experience life. So then in the symbols of astrology, it's, it's gonna have like, the most important that important, super important. So so what I do is look at the chart to where every planet was. It tells me something. Yeah. So there's each planet represents a part of your psyche, symbolically. So you know, how your, your your kind of living life and there's like, Well, part of me wants to go on a diet and take better care of my But part of me is saying eat the cheesecake. Part of me is saying, who I decide how I'm living my life, like, whatever it is, it's a full committee, right? Well, there's a planet representing most of those voices. Awesome. And so, so you're not crazy. You are complex. And so through so I look the birth. So back to birth tech, gonna tell me based on where these things are, how they're relating to each other. What you've come into this life to do, what your soul has come to experience,

Jennifer Malcolm:

and how do you apply all of that to your coaching work? which is then like, Okay, great, this, this experience is the birth moment the breath comes in where the soul meets, and then how do you impart that or use that tool? When you're coaching?

Unknown:

Well, what happens so it's come to their questioning something up for them. And so, so it's usually pretty clear. After think of it was an example of a woman I was working with, started consulting, she didn't, she thought that astrology thing, that's fine, but just keep it to yourself. And I'm like, Alright, that's fine. Yeah. Okay, fine, we'll do some consulting working on some stuff. And she's telling me, she wants to find her next thing, children out of the house, and, and she's been just a stay at home mom, and she does some philanthropic work, but nothing's really meaningful. And I'm like, Oh, okay. What do you want? She's like, I don't know. And, like, would you mind we take a look at the chart, how about we just take a look. And so, so we take a look. And then I can see in this chart, like she is born to perform, for soul needs to perform. But she's an artist. And I've asked her, she has outlets for creativity, is she? And then there's more more unfold, so that nudges her to go? Oh, yeah. She went to some prestigious Art Institute. Wow. You know, he did open mic night. Well, she's like, all this stuff going on. And then she's like, I got this idea for a roving telephone booth where people get in and talk about their shame. And I'm like, What? That's amazing. Like it? It's she had it in there. Yeah, what she did have, like, these little nudges, these little reminders, these kind of permission, like you are meant to hold the microphone. It's awesome. It's because as you're being big out in the world, those close to you might say, could you please bring it down a little bit, turn it down, right, turn it down, sit down, that happens to women, a lot. And, um, so that's just an example of how I'm being and I also believe, like, its objective, because I didn't know those things about her. Sure, um, and then she did the rest of the work. And so then, so it's like, okay, here's the vision and then more other exercises I do with people to help them with their vision. And then that's when I switch hats. And, and do like, okay, let's activate, I know how to launch something. Yeah, that's good. And so so that that's how it works. And then there's some clients who come who were there, it takes them longer in the figuring out what the next thing is. So we're spending more time in kind of helping them reconnect to themselves listen to their intuition vision really believe in creating a vision you kind of have this dream this thing you're moving toward and then you know then you also just turn it over and see what the universe brings but there is if you don't have a vision you'll never know if you've absolutely got there right just born we're just doing this and this so so it is it has to be kind of fluid thing is in each case has been different Yeah.

Jennifer Malcolm:

I love how you said that to be big in the world like and I and you did and I know we're we're I'm doing together and for the audience you can't see read his body language but you know, is that opening up your chest and your arms and reaching out? And how many times is women you know, it's a you know, you're you're being too loud. You're being too this You're being too emotional or We're in society. And I know as a women business owner, there's often times where it functions. And it could be an entrepreneurs event. And they always assume it's my husband's business. And you're like, No, no, no, no, no over here, like, and women, we just continue just be either shut down or push back, or we busy ourselves with family and needs and all that. And just to breathe that deep breath in and to, you know, really pull out our arms and reach wide to be the women that were called to be. And it sounds like this, the work that you do with entrepreneurs and your clients, activates that it activates that peace of remembrance, and destiny, and vision and calling and purpose outside of the mundane. Yes,

Unknown:

yes, that is, that is what I hope it is doing. And that is, that's when you know, it's like we're in the flow when that's happening.

Jennifer Malcolm:

You mentioned the word intuition. How does that play? Because, you know, people are like, are we women are intuitive? Is that something we're born with? Is it something that we grow? Is it something that some people have other people don't like? What's your perspective on that?

Unknown:

Well, I think we all have it, we just have, it depends on how well you are able to listen to it, we think meaning things start happening to us from from the moment we take that first breath, things start happening culturally, socially, in the family unit, to tell you not to trust that. Not Not everyone, most let me just say most people, this is what's happening. And so when you have this, you know, an instinct, hunch. In often, then, I think it happens instantly, you know, you share it with someone and they're like, No, no, don't do that. Yeah, I don't know, do I do anything, but don't do that. You know, it's like, put my whole heart and soul is telling me, like, oh, for the love of god don't. Um, and I think these are people out in the world are trying to help keep us safe. You know? Like, for me, to me, it can be something just basic, impractical. As you know, I'd gotten the job, I was in New Orleans had gotten the job offer opportunity to be the first one out in California establishing this company. And I'm Adam 2830, something like that. And my mother's like, what, why would you go there, you know, any one day? Like, this is like I'm stemming off a cliff into a volcano with sharks. And I'm, well, I was not really sport I was looking for. But she's my mother, her, she wants me close. And she wants me safe. Absolutely. So with something in me set to go, I have to go. And so sometimes we we need help of another human to help us sort out. Sure, we the external information as well as the internal information. Because, you know, because fear can play a real loud voice in my head, as well as the critic, you know, which I've renamed the critic Maya Safety Patrol. So when printed credit, because I know it's trying to keep me safe, I'm just gonna believe it means well, but sometimes acting safe. What it's suggesting I do is keeping me stuck. It's keeping me small. And I think, you know, in our DNA and the ancestral lineage, women needed to stay quiet to stay alive. So it's not just just what I got from my family. It is it's in me, yeah, it's good. And, and so that's something and I know I'm working that out in this lifetime. I'm working out how much to courageously go after it,

Jennifer Malcolm:

how much to be pragmatic, and reasonable and safe. And that has to be a good balance, because you can't always run the risk taker and just jump. But you also have to live further than what your fear barrier or your critic or I'm going to play small. You know, I did a Sally hogs head seminar last week. And you know, my my words coming out of it was pioneering rebel. And I was like, and I loved it, because I love that vision of going forward, going forward, going forward and breaking open into new territory, but also rebel, meaning that it's going to be unlike the status quo, and it's Gonna disturb and so like that two combination word, but then I come home I'm like, Okay, well, I'm a mom of three and married. I, you know, I have my suburbia life, and so that it eats back to you, or doubt or fear or any of those things that do make you try to play small and that activation and surrounding yourself with people who help you remember, and help encourage you and help to, you know, activate that is powerful. Yes, yes. And you're right, it

Unknown:

is it's always this, the yoga of life, balancing those things. And, and that also is kind of what's in the chart. That's why when people think astrology is just that one sign and, and they can say, Oh, it's just too simple. I'm way more complex than that. It's, you're right, you're absolutely right. And astrology is way more complex than that, too. And it's going to show the yoga of your life, the thing that you are, you are balancing. You know, like, in my life, it's a big balancing act of me, what do I need? What do I need to do? And we were working in partnership do we need? It's good? No, that's really good.

Jennifer Malcolm:

So let's close off by learning about this third act piece, because I know that is a term that has been associated with you since I met Paula, and my team was picking up on it. No clue what that means. So let's talk about the third act.

Unknown:

Well, I was I was also didn't really think much about it till I got kind of close to it. And, um, what I believe the third act means is based upon ancient civilizations, back when we lived a little closer to nature to our bodies, that it was really that women had three acts, maybe this is also a mythology. And there was the young girl, the maiden, there was the mature woman who's the mother, just just taking care of everything, the household, take care, all the people, the building, the creating, and then there was the wise woman. And, you know, in these early civilizations, the wise woman was revered. And I think also Native American cultures, we can find this. And they were they were the grandmothers. And they were who were counseled before we go into war. Before we trade with other people. We didn't ask the grandmothers, and it was the brave, strong young people who were you know, very young men who are going into battle, but they consulted the grandmothers. So So I learned about this through a workshop with Jean Shinoda Bolen, highly recommend reading any and all her books. And so now, with the third act, I think, in our current day is, you know, we've spent women have spent so much of this middle life building, nurturing, giving out to every one and saying, Be a family or business. This third act is about you. What do you want? What do you what is your heart and soul really long to do. And for some people, this might mean like, I'm ready for a break, I'm gonna go on a beach, and I'm gonna read novels. And just, that's it. For some people, this might mean like, I really want to get active, I'm going into politics, there's things I want to change others, it's like, I spent 30 years building this career building this business for somebody else, and I longed to do this. And the third app, you also get to choose for yourself when you're in it, you know, because it's, I think it's gonna come at a different age for different people. I didn't, I don't have children, and I'm not married. And so I think, like mine came along a little earlier. And, and so that is why I'm often working with people who are a little bit older than me. But I've been I've been kind of walking down this hallway earlier. It kind of put me in some ways, I guess the best position because I don't I can be more objective, I think about it's time to put parenting aside or the bill, you know, and think about you. So that tends to be who's also who's coming to me. It's it's women who are and sometimes it also happens. There's a physical thing like they get they just burn out. I'm seeing these these executives are fried, but they're not finished.

Jennifer Malcolm:

That's good. That's good. That's really good. And I definitely want to dig more into that offline because I think that there's further blogs right? sources that I want to provide to our audience as well, just that those three differentiation and all of them are beautiful, and there's a purpose and a time. But that reverence to this third act and really stepping into your own in your own power, and you can create whatever you want without the I'm a young maiden seeking to be sought after, and a caretaker, or now I can just be and you've, you've developed that wisdom and experience and history, and I think that's beautiful and often ignored. Yes, often,

Unknown:

yes. Or, you know, I think a lot in media culture of like, where you're, you're done. Yeah, like, what, what's the 6070 year old woman gonna do? And it's like, there's so much. Right? We're living so much longer with so much more vitality. It seems like I don't know. I mean, my grandmother taught high school English until she was 82. Wow, he was not stopping. So I have that. You know, these things. I have another grandmother who is still alive, right? I'm in the 5052. My grandmother living grandma. That's crazy. So

Jennifer Malcolm:

there's a lot more life? Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, as we wrap this up, because time has flown, and I could sit here for another two hours talking to you. What are some piece of advice that you as women are listening to this? Would you give it It might be about the third act, it might be about opening? It might be about business? What what are some parting words that you can impart to our audience? Um,

Unknown:

I think what's popping up right now for me is, is the power of visioning, the power and the importance of it, of taking time out to have a little quiet time could be just 15 minutes, and really writing down and write it down. What you dream of what you want to be in your life, three to five years from now, write it down?

Jennifer Malcolm:

What's the importance of writing it down?

Unknown:

Then there is something different happens, I think in the body, and you can type it for younger generations, something is happening. it solidifies it, it shifts something in the brain, it makes it real, I don't know the science behind it. Exactly. I know, I've just, I know the difference. I've seen the difference in people.

Jennifer Malcolm:

When I think too, there's a difference between thinking it. There's another thing about saying it, and then saying it out loud and then hearing it. But there is an activation of writing it where it is precious, and it's there. And I have a dream board outside of my studio here and the things and I love you. I created it two years ago, and I love looking at going I did that. Oh, that one I forgot about but I want to keep that a remembrance. And that piece of putting that vision before you and putting those dreams before you and reminding. It's like looking yourself in the mirror. Don't forget your heart. And don't forget that heart space. What's within? And I think that's a really cool piece too. Yes, beautiful, beautiful. I love your soul. You've been smiling nonstop. I love your energy. You are a beautiful woman inside and out. And I'm really honored that you could be a part of this season with us. Oh, thank you so much. It's been my honor to be here. Well, thanks ladies for tuning in and men who dared to join into a women's podcast movement. We welcome you always. But thanks for tuning in today and we will look forward to connecting with you next week.

Unknown:

Alright, everyone, have a good one. Bye bye.

Jennifer Malcolm:

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