Restore. Reset. Reveal Your Spirit with Mirriam Knight-Wilson

Dr. Mirriam Knight-Wilson is doing something she’s never done before: She’s taking a break.

It’s a huge step for a woman driven by a need to get things done.

Over the past seven years, Mirriam married and moved to the United States from South Africa, earned her doctorate in psychology, at the Los Angeles-based Chicago School of Professional Psychologists, became a certified transformational coach and a therapist, while serving as co-pastor of Liberation Church with her husband and leading a popular women’s ministry. 

Amid the busyness of her days, Mirriam realized she had something in common with women in her ministry. Like them, she was exhausted. She had emotional wounds that she needed to heal before she could heal others. 

Mirriam joins Jennifer Malcolm for Jennasis Speaks to talk about stepping back and taking time to refresh and reset. It’s an important lesson for any woman who needs a moment to rediscover their strength.

Transcript

Jennifer Malcolm: 0:10

Calling all women who are curious and called to be women warriors are rising in this day and age to heal and grow together. I'm your host, Jennifer Malcolm, self made entrepreneur, women advocate and life balance expert. Welcome to the next episode of the Jennasis Speaks podcast The Transformative Power of Women's Stories where every woman has a story and every story matters. And yes, ladies, if you're listening, that means you those who feel unqualified unheard, not value, this is the time to lift your head, and to get encouragement from women from all walks of life. And we want to welcome you to this beautiful story today. With me today is Dr. Miriam Knight Wilson. So welcome. Hi, everybody. Thank you for having me. I'm excited because I love that my my circle of friends and colleagues continues to expand through this work. And that through this work, we had the privilege of interviewing Tesha Fritzgerald in I believe, season one, and she highly recommended Miriam to join our podcast. And we've never met Miriam, I believe we're both from Cleveland, Ohio area.

Unknown: 1:21

And it's just nice to

Jennifer Malcolm: 1:22

meet new and dynamic women. So definitely a blessing. So I'm gonna read a short bio about you, and then we are going to rock and roll but their story, one in South Africa and raised in La tsutsu. Dr. Miriam Knight, also known as Dr. K, is a daughter of missionaries. She serves with her husband as pastors of liberation church in Cleveland, Ohio, and is the CEO of the liberation center. She has a doctorate in psychology with the Chicago School of Professional psychologists. She's the owner of destiny connections. And until recently, a therapist with an Ohio area nonprofit. Miriam is passionate about helping people discover their purpose, walk in their purpose, and live in and with the benefits of a purpose filled life. Welcome, my friend, it's a pleasure to cross paths with you. And I'm really eager to hear your story because there are so many bullet points on our preparation notes that as I was preparing just really jumped off the page and spoke to my heart. And so eager to hear it from your lips to my ears. Let's just start at the beginning. So you're from South Africa. So tell us a little bit about your upbringing, as well as how you came to the United States.

Unknown: 2:35

I was born in South Africa. My parents are originally from Sri Lanka. Long story up until that point, so I won't go into that. But um, they My dad was a medical doctor and my mom was a dentist by profession. And then in 1986, they got God's calling to go to the zoo. And so as a family, we moved to the US for about two years as my parents went to Bible school and then move back to the zoo. So being a missionary kid, pastor's kid, my whole entire life, been serving in the church for as long as I can remember, maybe from the moment I was born. And yeah, I met my husband in 2013, coming out of a 10 year relationship that did not end well, that was unhealthy in so many different ways. And really was not looking for relationship wasn't looking for anything that had to do with men. But I was on a journey to hailing at that point in my life, and we bumped into each other actually in line at a conference in Houston. At the time we connected I really was not in that mindset. I was still trying to find healing and wholeness. And three months later, we started talking. Maybe three months after that he connected with my parents, my dad has to that same year in 2014. And then later that year, we got married, and then the following year, I moved to the US. So that's how I ended up in Cleveland, Ohio. I had never been to Cleveland, Ohio. Prior to meeting him I

Jennifer Malcolm: 4:29

will say this Cleveland is amazing place to live. But it's not an everyone's dream list to go to like when you say here's the places I want to travel the world Cleveland typically doesn't make it to that top 10. And so when you kid here though, it is so full of culture, warm, foodie town, so much to do here. So people like to stay but not always your first place to go.

Unknown: 4:51

I agree because my first introduction after our wedding to Cleveland was snow that was about as high to our windows. I've never ever experienced that. That was how I came into Ohio moving here. And my first night, so we live kinda in the ghetto. My first night in Cleveland, Ohio, I was got broken into

Jennifer Malcolm: 5:17

oh my god very for your site. That was Hi, welcome to Cleveland, Cleveland, where you get your health broken, and a pile of snow. Some of the audience may or may not know, I'm also a pastor's kid. So I grew up in the church and my dad has been in the ministry, I would say since I was a young teenager, and my sister and her husband are youth pastors in the Columbus area. So I know that path all very well with the stigmas that come from being a pastor's kid to the joys and the relationship and different experiences. And pastor's kids are unique. And we're wired very differently. But it's a it's fun that we connected that way as well. When we were looking at your CV and your your work that you've done, it's very evident that you're a high achiever, and you have a lot of goals ahead of you. And you've accomplished a lot of these goals. What was it that drove you to do that work and a dive deep into education and success and the professional path that

Unknown: 6:24

you also took? If I was to sum that, in one word, it would be my mom. I think being missionaries to a foreign country and having a lot of people saying you're crazy, why are you going to Africa? Why are you? Where's this country that nobody knows about that you say God is calling you to think in the back of their minds, they always wanted to be able to say that they gave us the best that they that their choices did not in any way hinder us from having opportunities. So my mom was my mom has always been the pusher. Academically, I finished high school at the age of 13. Wow, a lot of it was homeschool. So I, I homeschooled a lot in the initial years of my education. And then when I transferred over to the national education system was quite ahead. And so I just kept going. And then I went to college at the age of 15. Got my first degree at 18 was supposed to go on to my master's, but I felt I needed to pause. And for a moment think about what it was that I wanted to do with my life, I went back home, I started working at the age of 13. Because coming out of high school, before I could go to college in South Africa, I had to do some extra courses, just because the education systems did not match up. So while I was studying that, I was also working for my mom in the school. So my parents have we have a school all the way from preschool to high school. There's a Bible school, there's three different other mission centers. So my mom and my dad, honestly, they're my heroes today are what they've achieved in their lifetime. I just pray I'm able to do a percentage of that and take your legacy on but I'm just there them in them on their own. We're high achievers, very much driven. And I'm just wanting to do so much and make an impact. So I think it's just been instilled in me since the moment I was like a kid it was one achievement, after the other always achieving, trying to be number one trying to get the best be the first in class, get the first prize, like whatever it was. It had to be the first. I know they met well. But it was a mindset that has been with me since I was a kid I got my first degree at 18 came back home started teaching at the age of 18. And it was weird because some of my students were my age because of the education system. And around that time and lesser two, they were introducing this whole concept of free education trying to get as many kids from the rural areas that had never had education. Kids back into the education system. And so some kids were over age and just getting back into school. So I had a lot of some kids were actually older than me. So it was a very interesting experience.

Jennifer Malcolm: 9:50

Well, it's funny because for those of you know a little bit about my story out of college, I taught high school science for three years, and I was 22 and I was two 1718 year olds, which to me, that was awkward, and you know, like that the age difference then was so small. So I can't imagine being 18 teaching 18 year olds or 18 teaching, you know, those that are a little bit older than you. That's a pretty wild experience. Yeah. Now you're in Cleveland and growing, there was something that stood out about this destiny connections. So if you could describe to the audience what destiny Connections is, and what you do with that organization,

Unknown: 10:32

that actually came to me, I did a lot of going up. Rob, about nine years, I was doing youth ministry and children's ministry. And being a pastor's kid, being the firstborn pastor's kid, there was a lot. So worship ministry, youth ministry, children's ministry, whatever ministry there was, I did it. And as that unfolded, I got called to speak at a youth conference for another church it was. And as I was speaking, the word, Destiny connections, how God brings certain people into your life, that there's certain connections and people that you encounter in your life, I believe you're one of them right now. So this is definitely one of those. But just how there's people that God brings into your life that are connected to your purpose that are connected to your destiny, people that you align with, in terms of where you're going, your destination, the purpose, the assignment that is upon your life. And so my whole life, just see my friends struggling in different areas that didn't have different opportunities, academically, or maybe weren't strong academically, but had other gifts and talents. And I just felt like their life was over, because maybe they didn't succeed in the academic or the business realm, and really wanting to help people discover what their purpose was that your design, how God created you has been specifically put together for a reason that you don't have to look like anybody else. You don't have to sound like anybody else. You don't have to do things the way people other people do it. But you've got to find your unique design and connect with it. And I want it to be that connect, I want it to be that person that is able to connect them to their destiny. So in two ways, basically being the connection that shows them how to connect the pieces of their lives and the pieces of their history and their story and their journey to God's purpose. And being able to identify the dots along the way that lead them to purpose and destiny. Also being the one that may be facilitates a connection to somebody else that's connected to their purpose and destiny. So in destiny connections, it actually launched back home and I relaunched it on this side of the world, back home Incorporated, my private practice, it was therapy. And I had a nonprofit component that had to do with youth development, where I've provided psychological and spiritual coaching and development for youth that could not afford the counseling services. So on this side of the world, it has become primarily a coaching service that helps people connect with God's purpose for their lives.

Jennifer Malcolm: 13:23

So powerful, because there's so many of us whether it is the unknown of what we're calling our destiny or purposes, or that maybe we we had that vision, but somehow we got off track or we had a trauma or we had pain. And we forget, or we think it's too good to be true, or that was four days gone by, but it's no longer ahead of me. And I think that piece of empowering and coaching and speaking life into destiny, purpose, vision, future is an amazing gift. Because so often, we get our heads down, and we get dissuaded we get discouraged. And we need someone else to help lift, lift our eyes and cause us to remember that we have gifts and talents that are unique, and that are for God's destiny as well. And this side though, you also had a women's movement, book club, women coming to you So tell me a little bit about

Unknown: 14:24

that was that with destiny connections was that separate group is called she's unleashed. And it originally started out as I was just craving connection, I was craving relationships with women that were genuine, that were authentic, that were spirit filled that and I wasn't finding it. I wasn't finding it in the connections and I wanted something expanded beyond my immediate family and in my immediate church family. Also I've never been a uni dimensional person. I've always liked diversity and multiple layers and vibrance to my life. So it just, I was going through a period in my life where I really needed connection. And so it started out as a book club, I just invited people, I believe we were going through Lisa viviers book, bite, like a girl was the first book we actually went through. And I was about five women in a coffee shop, meaning infinera. And just talking about the book, and then it started, we started talking about each other's lives, and just seeing the pain and the hurt, and that people were looking and craving for this genuine connection. And a lot of them were powerful women, women that had influential positions, but never felt that they could be authentically themselves amongst because they would be judged, misunderstood, or just never felt safe enough to have that connection with people in their own immediate circle. So from that I hosted maybe a couple of months later, I can't even remember when the first one was, I think 2018 was the first retreat that I hosted for about 15 women and God just place it on my heart to individually invite specific woman to come together. And it was amazing. And just the connections and relationships that were built through that and then the following year, and then from that, it was just gonna be like a one off thing. And then the women were like, when's the next one, where's the next one, I was like, okay, so I plan the next one. And then the next one, I had about 35 women that showed up. And it was more focused on drawing out the gift and helping people connect with intrapreneurship and how to monetize their gift eat and just basically connect the dots and help them in that second one was when the concept of cheese unleashed was developed. So the initial one with the with the book club was called daddy's girl. So it was just like, let's send it with daddy and just have a cup of tea and a cap a cup of coffee. And so from that, and the theme for that first one was, I will not be silenced. And just speaking about how important our voice is, and that and a lot of different settings that we often feel silenced and we swallow a word and we swallow and yet God has given us a voice for a reason that our voice is meant to break barriers or white voice is meant to do so much and heal and empower other people, but it's often silenced. So that was the first one. And then the next one was cheese unleashed. And then from that I was going to host my third conference again, just really thinking very small, just maybe 30 to 50 women in our church, I wasn't the past retreat that cost me a lot personally financially. So I was trying to localize it and try and grow it to the point where I'll be able to host it in different places. And then COVID happened. And like I really waited, I thought it would lift and then I was like okay, I need to cancel and I started refunding people, their their monies. And what a woman need right now, like they are swarmed. They are confined to their homes, they have taken on multiple roles, his mother, nurse, coach, recreation director, all these different roles that they weren't prepared for that they weren't. It just kind of they just got thrown in the deep end. And from my experience working in community mental health in my clients back at that point, I was working primarily with adolescents and children in doing therapy via telehealth with that population. And I just saw the overwhelm with the parents and the grandparents trying to homeschool when you don't even understand how the system works and how technology works. And just that whole overwhelm of being confined and confronting things that you weren't ready to, to to address. And so from that she's unleashed virtual, the virtual conference was birth, so I was going to just do the one. Let's go ahead and just do the one in May. And I was like, Okay, now that you're doing it virtually, there's no limitation to what you can do. So I launched, she's unleashed Africa. And we had to the first two sessions, and it was just talking about the concept of what would it mean, for you to be unleashed? What would your life look like? And I had different of a couple of my friends come on, and just share briefly like, what it would mean for them to be unleashed. And that was just that was it that was a conversation and then from that, I went into a 21 day challenge of just helping women, a Facebook group, so I started this Facebook group And I just started, I created it and I left it there. And I had put together a team of women to work with me. And one of the ladies started inviting people. I was like, hold on, I'm not ready for that. What are you doing? But it was too late. Like by then people just started inviting people. And I was like, Okay, I guess we're going. And from that, I believe within a period of about a month, it went from zero to over 300 people. And then it since then grown to over 800 people, woman. And honestly, I had nothing to do it was just God. So I did the 21 day challenge and just, God just did so many things in people's lives. just helping them break free from a lot. And then over the period from May to August of last year, I hosted eight virtual conferences. Wow. So we had she's unleashed just the plane, she's unleashed. I think the second one was unmasking your captor, which is basically identifying what is holding you down. The third one, I started getting a lot of conversation, I start actually getting inboxes from husband saying What are you doing? I'm seeing my wife changing in front of me, I don't really like what I'm seeing. And I'm like, she's starting to speak up. She's starting to to do things. And what are you doing? Like? Is this a feminist movement? Is this you know, what is going on? Like, there was so many misconceptions around that. So I invited the men to the table. And I invited a couple of my brothers and my friends. And we had a conversation with the men of what does it mean when a woman is unleashed to them? And how can they support the woman in their lives to be unleashed. And then from that, I actually believe from unmasking your captor, we just started talking about how many different dimensions and levels there is to this being unleashed and things that we don't talk about. And Tisha, actually, she mentioned, Hey, how about we have a conversation, you know, after dark like about things that we don't talk about the things that and so in the past, it was very open, the sessions were open for this specific session. So she's unleashed after dark was then birthed from that. And that was the August sessions. And it was on issues of sexuality and conversation centering that, that we don't normally feel comfortable talking about was a closed session. Did not stream did not share it afterwards. But in the process to that there was so many things I had to process personally, in my own life, and in my own story. August was was a heavy one, it was a very deep conversation.

Jennifer Malcolm: 22:54

It's crazy. I'm gonna interrupt for just a second because I know that you're you're don't know intimately what Jennasis Speaks is all about. I know that teesha introduced, we've had some dialogue back and forth. But we did a series back in November, I believe, which was unlocking your voice. And as women, that we are shut down, and we we silence our voice out of fear, out of frustration, at a pain, out of lack of courage. And there's so much that you're talking about the the Jennasis Speaks movement is also tracking with and it's about breaking shame, and it's about your collective vulnerability and sharing my story. It heals someone else's, and the power of a testimony that if she can have the courage to go through that wall of fear. And on the other side of fear is freedom and joy and healing that's so unexpected, that it's just that advocation and calling up purpose and destiny. And it's not an anti men movement. It's just about women stepping into their God given rights, or their God given voices, the way that we are nurtured and created that purpose, a divine purpose within us, that has been shut down or locked down or playing small for whatever reason, it could be our own fears, it could be things that were put on us. And so I just think it's amazing how, you know, we launched the women's movement during COVID. So this was July, June, July of last year, we started starting it in April may have dreaming and what the storyboard would be, and how much that tracking of similar purpose destiny calling is between the two tracks. So that's amazing. So as you are now at this August one, and she's unleashed after dark, and you're now getting the opportunity to heal or to take a deeper look into your journey as you're also leading because that's what happened to me. And this is as I saw women becoming more involved, more vulnerable, and the courageousness that they had to share their story on this podcast. It gave me a hunger and desire and a break. Just intention to heal deeper within my own heart and soul and to look deeper and to say now what Now what? Now? Where do I heal? So how did that impact you?

Unknown: 25:10

I think especially coming out of in preparation for the August session, there were stories, my own stories that I had never conversations I had never had with my mother. And I did not want my mom hearing through the grapevine about various elements of my life. And that started showing me as well that there was that always been an element of my identity that felt like that was afraid, that was afraid that I would be exposed for being an imposter for not being who people had imagined me to be in their mind, not necessarily who I said it was or who I portrayed myself to be. But their conception of who I was, because all I kept putting forward was my best foot was putting the best side of me that they could see. And so God started talking to me about my own story. One of the things I shared with the ladies was, I always felt comfortable with putting other people in the spotlight. I used to say, I like being in the background, I like being the one in the in the wings, cheering other people on. And someone a friend of ours actually in a conversation said to me, You think that you're safe in the wings, you think you're safe in this battle is and you think that by standing there that you're fulfilling God's purpose for your life, because you're pushing other people into their purpose. And even with the virtual conferences, I was just a facilitator. I didn't really speak much, I maybe said a couple of things. But I was propelling other people forward. And God was like, What is your fear of being in the light? What is your fear of being on center stage, and I had to confront the fact that I was afraid of what people would see if they look too closely, what people would see if they really knew my true story, what people would say and think about me if they were exposed to the truth of who I was, or what had happened to me or what I had done. And so I had to literally sit down and write a long email to my mom and say, so I think you think this of me, this is what you know me as, but let me tell you the parts of my story that you don't know about. And in that process shared with her being sexually molested as a child. The effects of being pushed into this high performance, over achieving persona throughout my life, I've always not feeling good enough of always feeling like I had to earn my value of always feeling like I had to prove something to someone. And then also sharing with her other elements of my story where I had failed myself and failed, or made mistakes and made wrong choices. And it led to conversations with my mom, I expected her to respond in a in a very judgmental, self righteous, that's what my expect, I expected condemnation, but she responded in love, which was very healing for me, but very unexpected. And in that process, I also realized that I, there were so many things that had happened over the course of my life that I had never really dealt with and processed, even moving to the US. I like my dad passed in 2014 I got engaged and got married. And later on in 2014 2015, I relocated my entire life to the US closed down my private practice resigned from my job packed up my apartment. So my cars closed up everything and basically pack my life into four suitcases moved to the US left, my family and my friends moved here came here found I couldn't have a career in the profession that I had worked so hard to build for, and had to go back to school and go get my doctorate. So I could be able to find some kind of job in this sphere. So basically, it felt like I was starting from scratch that I had literally thrown away or given away or something, lost everything, and come in to start all over. And so a lot of who and even in ministry, like I was always actively involved in ministry in some way or the other. And coming to the US and not having that come into my husband's church was very small, very, very, very small and not really knowing what my place was. And two years later losing a baby through a miscarriage and processing that and not been able to conceive from that moment up until this point, gaining a whole lot of weight physically, just so many different dimensions and when I lost The baby. I think I lost the baby in July in August, I enrolled September, I enrolled for my doctorate program. I didn't process I just moved on to the next achievement in the next to do list thing on my list. Because I had to get this career, I had to get this thing going. God just started showing me that you have so much hurt and pain in you, that is just literally festering within you that you haven't processed, you're trying to heal people and over COVID experienced a lot of deaths. Just various people that was really close to passed away throughout the 2020. And then also processing my clients losses and the debts they were going through and holding space for them. And I never really grieved I never really read my dad's passing there was just so much. And I was like you have to, you're holding so much, and you're trying to heal others, but you're you are wounded. And I was getting sick all the time, I was not getting well. And after, even with the August situation, even after talking to my mom, I didn't get myself, I didn't process I just moved on. I thought I was going to take a sabbatical for a month, and that sabbatical turned into it's been over six months close to what you are because in that process, I might I literally shut down because I had opened the can of worms. And now I didn't know how to shove it all back in. And so I had to I ended up in the ER, on Christmas Eve last year, with the side of my body tingling in going numb. And that was a wake up call for me Christmas Eve and that you are learning that I need to stop. Yeah, like I was literally you need to stop and you need to heal. And so I thought I would take it partially. And I was like no, you have to be all in in this healing process. So I started therapy for myself in January and healer, heal thyself.

Jennifer Malcolm: 32:10

Know interesting because even, you know, our parallel journeys of, you know, I know that part of my calling is to empower, equip, help bring healing elements to women, I am not a counselor, I don't want to be a counselor, but to bridge advocacy, support, compassion, forgiveness, self awareness. And realizing that the more I do that, how much stuff I have stuffed down into my soul. And and that piece of it just starts oozing out, it starts coming out either in grief or anger or sideways conversations. But I'm a compartmentalize or I take it and I'm like, I don't have time to deal with this right now, I'm going to put it in this box because I need to go and do this thing. Yet it comes out sideways. And that piece of a healer healing, jumped into my own therapy, this in 2021, as well. And just working through some of the stuff from my childhood, things from my first marriage, going through a divorce, being a single mom starting this loss, pain, grief expectations. And it's just so amazing how, when you do this work, you can function. But God doesn't allow that. Or I and I also don't want that to for us to remain there because in that healing, that deeper level of healing within us, but that we can also gift and be a mere and a facilitator to other people around us is huge. I have goosebumps, the response because there's so many things of grief or anger. And I actually said this to my girlfriend the other day. I said I'm avoiding I often heal through journaling. And just processing that thinking and I said I'm actively avoiding journaling because I don't want to feel the pain. I said I'm consciously choosing not to write in journal, because I don't I don't have the mental readiness or time or whatever I said, so I'm verbalizing, and I'm acknowledging it, but I'm actively avoiding writing so I don't feel the pain. Like

Unknown: 34:22

oh, I can identify with that. I did that for a very long time. I used to be an avid journaler. And then when I went through my last relationship and I went through that breakup, I just stopped because I could not confront the pain. It just made it too real. So I stopped for a very long time but in the season God has brought me back to that because I have to confront the truth. I went into pick out something that you said about the compartmentalizing in psychology we call it fragmentation. This was one of the One of the theories that I absolutely love because when I went back, I think that journey as well was part of God's restoration in my life, because going through this aspect of my training was so healing for myself, I was like, Oh, so that's what that is. But fragmentation when we have pain and experience pain, and we don't process it, but we compartmentalize it, and then we become so fragmented, because there's all these pieces all over the place that we haven't brought into ourselves and assimilated and condensed that our identity, like, I started feeling like I was schizophrenic, I felt like I was just all over the place, like my mind cannot rest anxiety was so high, because you're trying to balance all these balls, and all these people, all these pieces of yourself that you really don't know who the heck am I really, you know, and in this season, I've been sharing a lot, even on social media that God has been bringing me through a dismantling process, where he's literally taking apart all these pieces of my life. And he's saying, I want to put it back together again. But you're going to have to literally look at all these pieces that you fragmented, and compartmentalize and put to the side that you have maybe rejected parts of ourselves that we've rejected, because they're too painful. Or maybe we feel they're unacceptable, that God literally wants us to say, I need you to look at that, see that I see you, I see that piece of yourself that I love, and I, you're my daughter, I see you. And I need you to embrace all of those and assimilate that because it's a whole of you that God can use. He can't, he can't using that fragmented space, he'll use you because you, but that's not how he intended it. He wants the whole you and that's something that's really been speaking to me in this season is

Jennifer Malcolm: 36:49

breathe, take it in and allow me to defragment you so I can put you back together. That's so powerful. And and I don't know if this was something I would assume that came out of your mouth during the interviewing process, but I wrote it down as one of the key messages going into this interview, you can capital ca m afford to stop and heal, what is meant for you will not be lost or missed in your pursuit of healing. And I was like, because we get into that, well, I gotta go and it's a timeline. And if I don't do this, and someone else is gonna do that, and it's competitive in nature, and it's that it's not gonna be lost, it's not wasted time and you take that time to pause, put on your oxygen mask, make sure that you're good so that you are I am better equipped to serve lead compassionately, understand guide, facilitate and also be in the light of ronit center in the light sharing the story is powerful. And I just wanted to acknowledge that that jumped off the page to me, because we don't give permission to heal. We don't give permission for us, we may take a weekend or do a retreat or, but we don't take intentional time to just dive in and feel and heal and journal and talk through it and scream it out or yell it out or dance it out or whatever we need to do in order to move that energy and that defragmentation. So that's powerful.

Unknown: 38:21

I think the opposite of that is you cannot afford not to stop. Because I think so many of us are on the verge of literally dying. Because we're not stopping, we're not healing. And we can only function to a certain extent, with the level of pain. So what we don't process emotionally, mentally, spiritually, our bodies will process for us. And our bodies will literally shut down because our body stores memories, our body stores pain, our bodies, stores, thoughts, our body store experiences. And if we don't take the time to stop and process those things, our bodies will literally shut down so much of what we're experiencing in terms of physical ailments, and even mental illness and whatever that entails is unprocessed pain, and the wounds that we allow to fester with because we are too we feel like other things are more important. You are important, I am important. We are important enough to take the time to pause and heal. And literally like what is meant for you is for you. There's a place in history. There's a place in time that only you can occupy and nobody can take that away from you. But as long as one of the things God has also been speaking to me a lot about is the seeds that we so when we're hurting and wounded inside. Everything that we do is a seed planted and when We're hurting when we're wounded inside, and we're not processing whatever we produce from a place of pain is replicating that pain, pain. And we're inadvertedly perpetuating that cycle of dysfunction in unintentionally. So if we want to birth the life into society into the world, we have to hear. Because otherwise, we're passing on to the next generation cycles of dysfunction and pain. Because when we feel like we need to keep on this rat race, and keep on going, but what are we spewing out? It's that it's poison. It's all the bitterness and the hurt. That's what we're creating. And we can't take what we produce, we can't take it back. Right? So how about we pause and heal so that what we produce from a place of rest from a place of healing is healthy and whole and life giving to the world?

Jennifer Malcolm: 40:53

So good. And it's interesting, because during COVID, 2020, I agreed to do a talk this fall. And they asked, What's the title because they were putting out their website a year ago. And the the title of my speak was purpose out of pain. And so like that those stories that happen through dysfunction, self sabotage, things that happen to us things that we did, just pain and whatever level, that there's purpose, and there's destiny, and there's calling and there's joy, and there's freedom. But it does take intentionality, to experience the pain, feel the pain and heal from the pain in order to call it destiny and purpose from their

Unknown: 41:39

powerful.

Jennifer Malcolm: 41:40

So as we wrap up, and I know that, that our listeners are probably overwhelmed with Where do I even begin, like this seems too good to be true, or it seems too hard to even touch, what would be some closing parting words that you can breathe life into our listeners to activate hope, activate, a desire to change he'll grow. Just speak what's on your heart to empower the women listening today.

Unknown: 42:10

I will say one of the things that God really helped me at the beginning of the year was he led me to write what I called my replenishment plan, not my not my to do list, but my replenishment plan. And it was literally taking a look at all the areas of depletion in my life and seeing what those identified taking the time to pause and look at those areas where I needed replenishment where I needed revitalization where I needed healing, and then identify what I needed to do to be able to heal those areas. And so, definitely want to encourage the listeners to get help get therapy, you can't afford not to. And I think that's what we say a lot of times I can't afford therapy, you can't afford not to get therapy and there are various resources. There are free resources to get. There's community mental health, if you are on Medicaid, there is there are various resources that you can go to to get help. Get a therapist or get a coach or get someone that will support you. If nothing like that, go to your pastor, you know, find someone that you can trust that you can share the burden with talk to somebody, don't die alone, allow someone else to breathe life into you. A lot of things we think are external, that are toxic, that are killing us. But it's actually choices that we've got has given us the power of life and death. We have the power of choice every single day to make a choice, one choice, it doesn't take much one choice at a time. One little choice at a time will change your life, it might take some time. It's not going to happen overnight. Remember that undoing years and years of damage to your body to your mind to your spirit is not something that's going to happen overnight. Don't get overwhelmed by that. But make a choice every single day, every single moment in that moment. And if you feel like you can't make the choice if you feel like your tendencies to lean towards death and destruction are pulling us much stronger than the ones that are leading to life. ask God for help. You are never ever alone. Take the time you may not have time for a massage. You might not have time for a pedicure and a manicure. But you can get some Epsom salts from the dollar store and soak your tub you can soak your feet like take time to nurture your body. We all don't replenish in the same way. But some it's you need to sleep. Yes, sleep is very important. We need to stop a claiming buisiness and the lack of sleep You can't function without sleep your brain cells need to rest they need to regenerate the Rest, sleep if you need to sleep, take a wife, you can go to the gym, you can definitely walk. Take time to invest in yourself, you are valuable you are worth it. You are worth rescuing we, we do so much to rescue everybody else. We need to first start by rescuing ourselves. Because what if you die, there's nothing you can do in this world. So, rescue yourself. Journal journaling is such a good way a lot of people say I'm scared to journal because I'm afraid somebody's going to invade my privacy, you can do it a journaling note on your phone and lock it and put a password on it so that no one has access to it if that's what you're afraid of. But journaling physically writing out stuff helps move your thoughts from your mind into the book so that you can concretely can take charge over your thoughts so that they're not controlling you. It liberates you, it sets you free because if we keep it up in here, it becomes overwhelming and overpowering. So take time to journal. Spend time with friends with loved ones, it doesn't have to cost you a cent. do those things for me, my nephews, they just bring so much joy to me. Because they're crazy funny, ridiculous, but that suits my soul. So each one of us is different. What is some? What are the things that bring you joy, identify those things that bring you joy, identify those things that soothe your soul for me is going to the water. Also, I love walking out to the lake and just sitting at the water. I've got to be intentional though, in making those moments available for myself. And it's okay to shut down the phone. It's okay not to respond to every text message in every email. It's okay to deactivate your Facebook account and your Instagram account just because it's too much do what you need to do to heal and restore your life. You are worth it, you are worth it. You are the answer to some situation in this world. But you can't produce that answer as long as you are still wounded and dying inside. You deserve to heal.

Jennifer Malcolm: 47:05

How do you felt like Miriam has preached to us so good. The fiery preacher is good of truth and it just arrows of truth. There was a truth and and and all the things you pick up the nuggets that that align those all those suggestions. And you know, take the ones that align with your heart and soul and the way you process and be challenging us. And I also will be offline get some resources that that are local within Northeast Ohio that we can ask to put on the website for counseling, and just those things for mental health and to begin to talk and heal and grow. Obviously, my email will be on the podcast as well. With Miriam's permission vailable to get access to her. And we want to be to women that advocate not only modeling healing and growth and defragmentation of our hearts and souls and spirits, but to heal and so that we can be a conduit to heal and facilitate and connect and be a an instrument that is used in this healing and unlocking voices and unleashing the women's voice and power and position in this land. And in this today's day and age today. So thank you, my friend. That was amazing, amazing time. I am honored that you took time out today, to speak your truth to share your story to activate hope and healing and other women that are listening today. and can't wait to connect with you further. Thank you so much for having me. It's been an honor. Good, good. Well, thanks, ladies. We're touching base today and lacking in your time to be activated through these words. We ask that you would share the Word. Be inspired, be challenged and do something take today to do something drink water, go outside journal, do something to start this process of healing of love and light. And we'll catch you next week. All right, have a good one. Bye bye. Thank you for listening to the Jennasis Speaks podcast. If you love the show, one of the best things you can do is to share it with a friend. Tell them what you like about it, how it inspires you and invite them to listen. Subscribe to the Jennasis movement to empower women's voices and reclaim the power over your own narrative.